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I’m an Evil Genius June 30, 2012

Posted by starshipexercise in Recipes and Food.
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For over a year, I’ve been having low back issues.  Last year, I thought my back pain was a side effect of a migraine medication that I was taking.  I quit taking that med, did some PT, and it got better.  I was able to run again, and worked my way up to longer distances, peaking at 5 miles.  Then this past winter it became a problem once more.   Back to the doctor I went, and this time she ordered x-rays.

The x-ray didn’t reveal much, other than some minimal lumbar spondylosis (aka spinal osteoarthritis).  Yes, it’s minimal.  Very, very minimal.  Also, 20 years early.  But minimal.

When I whined about it to anyone who would listen, a friend of mine told me her father’s story.  He was diagnosed (at a much older age than me, just saying) with spinal osteoarthritis, and started taking gelatin.  Every morning he stirred a spoonful of plain gelatin powder into cold juice, and drank it down real quick.  Next time he went in for tests, they found that his condition had been reversed.

I’m so into gelatin now.

The problem is, it’s revolting.  Trying to stir it into cold liquid is impossible; it never dissolves, and just swirls around in the glass.  Between the time you stop stirring and start chugging, it’s already all fallen to the bottom, no matter how fast you move, and at the end you get a mouthful of gooey ground up cow hoof. Lovely.  The whole thing is just gross and I’d rather eat sea urchin.

But I’m an Evil Genius.  (I’m reminded of this by the button I wear on my jean jacket, a gift from my honey about 15 years ago.) Accordingly, I experimented with several concoctions until I found one that made the gelatin drinkable. It covers up the taste and texture completely.  And, when I calculated the nutritional info, I was surprised to find that it’s actually kind of healthy.

This drink even makes a good snack.  It’s surprisingly high in protein (thanks to the gelatin), and keeps me feeling full for a while.  Plus, gelatin is supposed to make the hair and nails stronger.

Mwah-hah-hah Mocha

Servings: One

1-2 heaping tsp instant coffee powder (I use an espresso powder, you may need more if it’s regular coffee)
2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tbsp xylitol
1 tbsp unflavored beef gelatin
cinnamon, salt, vanilla to taste
1 cup hot water

The key to making this a nice drink instead of  a lumpy disgusting mess is to mix the dry ingredients together in a mug.  Nuke a cup of hot water and then slowly add the hot water to the dry ingredients 1 tablespoon at a time, stirring constantly until you have a nice smooth slurry.  Add the vanilla, the rest of the water, stir and enjoy.  Try not to think about the fact that it’s the powdered bovine foot that makes it creamy instead of the more traditional bovine additive of milk.  See?  Evil.

Calories 65.3
Total Fat 1.5 g
Cholesterol 0.0 mg
Sodium 7.1 mg
Total Carbohydrate 10.0 g
Dietary Fiber 3.7 g
Protein 11.1 g

Note: I didn’t use salt in mine, so didn’t include that in the nutritional info.

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